“Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Ephesians 4:26
A voice woke me up in my sleep. It said, “Go down and apologize to him now. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” I looked at my clock and it was 1:30 a.m. But no one was standing there to tell me, it was God.
I had a big argument with my husband the previous day. He rarely gets angry, but he was very mad at me. I got mad back. I yelled. I made our daughter feel so uncomfortable that her stomach began to hurt. I didn’t want to admit that I was wrong. The anxiety I suffer causes me to be very negative. It is out of fear. I figure if I address what is wrong, I am somehow solving it. I am not, I am just complaining.
My husband and daughter, every week go out to have dinner and ice cream. It is their daddy-daughter date. My husband and daughter sometimes invite me along. Before we left, I was listening to a lesson from a group I joined regarding establishing good habits to get into better health. I just listened to a lesson on how bad it is to eat too much sugar. That should be a no brainer, but I have a bad sweet tooth. So, when my daughter had me try her food, I could taste how sweet was the orange chicken. I cringed and said, “this is too sweet to eat and then you are going to have ice cream? UGH!” My husband said, “really? Does everything that comes out of your mouth have to be so negative?” I decided to remain ice queen quiet until we left the restaurant. In the car, he began to explain how he tries to have an enjoyable time with our daughter and how he didn’t appreciate me giving my negative opinion. I didn’t like that at all.
The short car ride home was not my best moment in life. I was completely out of line and said some nasty things. I pulled up to the house and then my husband got out to get into the driver’s seat and drove off to their ice cream part of the date. I was livid. I tried to soothe myself by vacuuming the house. Yes, I clean to decompress sometimes. About 5 minutes later, our daughter ran into the house and went upstairs. I followed after to her and she said she feels sick to her stomach. I asked if it was because of mommy and daddy arguing and she said yes. I apologized to her for fighting with daddy in front of her. She put her head down and went into her room.
I felt horrible for the rest of the afternoon. My husband and I stayed out of each other’s way. I ended up going to bed without trying to make amends with him. I saw his point and knew I was completely in the wrong. The sad thing is, I don’t realize how negative I am and how frequent it has become. I catch myself sometimes when I talk to people and hear myself complaining about things in life. I need to be served a warm cup of “shut the he!! up”!
When God woke me up with that Bible verse, I was reminded of something that happened at work about 10 years ago. I managed a gym and one of the clients was talking about an argument with her husband. She said a friend told her a story about another husband and wife that had an argument and where the wife gave her husband the silent treatment. They fell asleep in separate rooms. When she noticed her husband didn’t leave for work, she went to look for him. She found him and he passed away in his sleep. When the lady told the story, I burst into tears as did everyone who heard the story. Scarred for life.
I knew the likelihood of this happening was very small, but still I could not let my issues drive a wedge in my relationship with my husband. I walked down the stairs and came over to him. I apologized to him. I told him, I saw his side and that he is an amazing father. We “kissed and made up” and I felt that heaviness in my heart leave me.
Lesson Learned: Try your best to reconcile before too long. You never know when you will lose your chance.
“Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for pride. Help me recognize when I am wrong and need to apologize. Restore the loss in relationships that have gone sour. Show me my heart and those areas that need change. In Jesus’ Name. AMEN!”