“Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:4

My daughter and I were wanting to donate our hair to “Pantene Beautiful Lengths” foundation because they make wigs for cancer patients.  Her haircut was adorable and she received numerous compliments.  I got my haircut and I didn’t get the outpouring of love that she received.  It looked good the first day I had the cut because of the hairdresser’s talent.  Afterward, I couldn’t get it to look the same way, even if my life depended on it.

The haircut was noticeable because 9 inches was cut off.  When people would notice the haircut, the main response was “oh you got a haircut” and that was it.  I found the need to defend myself and explain why I cut my hair for a good cause and  because the grays were coming in I had to hurry up and blah, blah, blah, blah and blah.  

I began to hear myself explain over and over about the haircut.  Why should I even care?  I realized I did this a lot in my life.  If I wanted seconds at a buffet or decided not to volunteer for something, I felt I had to give an explanation, longer than The Constitution,  to feel justified and to not receive judgement for my decision.

The fear of not being accepted has always been an issue.  I remember when I was getting married, my friends set up this treasure hunt for me at my Bachelorette Party and  I (unwillingly) wore this sign.

img_1196

 

I had to read the poem they wrote for me to every person that asked me.  We were at a very crowded outdoor shopping area on a Friday night in the summer.  Besides the poem, I had to do it with exuberance and do the “Oh what a feeling!” jump like the old Toyota commercials that ran in the late 90’s.  I was mortified.  I was having to use the bathroom every 10 minutes because I was so nervous. (TMI)

The poem went like this:

Scott, Scott, my wonderful Scott,

My world he rocks,

I melt when he talks,

He never wear socks,

But he is still such a fox.

Scotty, Scotty, he is for me!

(Toyota Jump)

I explained myself after poem, every time.  The friend who came up with the poem, made me a photo album for the event.  She even took a picture of me and captioned it, “here she is explaining herself”.  I couldn’t just go with it.  Then my friend led me into the main dining room at The Cheesecake Factory.  I thought I was going to pass out, but I said the poem anyway.  And as you can see in the picture, the crowded restaurant patrons were genuinely happy for this bride to be.

img_1197

(Sorry for the picture quality…operator failure…)

God wants us to enjoy our lives.  He wants us to be confident and bold.  Even if people don’t agree with our decisions or choices, we need to have the exuberance that God has and will alway have our back.

Lesson Learned:  Look to God for His approval and learn to have joy in this life.

Prayer:

“Dear Heavenly Father, give me the confidence to live my life without fear of being laughed at.  I bind and rebuke all insecurities that stop me from having fun.  So me when to be serious and when to have fun.  I thank you for the gift of laughter.  I know you want us to live joyfully. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!”