“Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him,” Luke 17:3
Confrontation…one of my least favorite things. My usual mode of operation is to not say anything and ruminate over it for days, even months. I feel like the character, George Costanza, from the television show “Seinfeld” who would have that zinger of a comeback, two hours after the argument.
After seven years of saving, I decided to remodel our kitchen. The idea of spending thousands of dollars, hurt my husband but he knew I was not happy with our 35-year-old kitchen that falling apart. He told me I had free reign over the decisions of the remodel. I hired a contractor and he began the work.
There was a hiccup on the first day of the remodel. The cabinet company delivered the wrong color painted cabinets. But since it was pretty close to the color I picked out, I decided to deal with it. I asked for them to refund me the price I paid for painting the cabinets and they did. After that, the remodel was went well and even on time.
We were nearing the end of the remodel and the backsplash was going up on the wall. I had spent a couple of weeks, looking at samples and deciding what I wanted. The backsplash was going to be a stone material, which the contractor had never used.
The day he was starting the installation of the backsplash, I was at a Girl Scouts event with my daughter on a Saturday. For some reason, we never discussed the color of the grout. Instead he asked my husband what color would he like for him to use. My husband told him that he could decide and began working on the backsplash.
The contractor’s wife came by to check out the progress of the kitchen. My daughter and I came home and we walked into the house. His wife was saying how great things were looking and I told her how happy I was with everything so far. I walked over to the kitchen and saw him putting a sand colored grout on the back splash. My heart sank into my stomach. I wanted a white colored grout. There is a big difference in those colors.
The anger and frustration welled up inside of me. I walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs and screamed into a pillow. My thoughts were, “great now I am stuck with this color forever, but wait…why should I have what I want? I knew I would walk into that kitchen everyday and hate it if I didn’t say anything right then and there.”
After I calmed down, I walked downstairs and told him “we should have discussed the color before hand, but I am not happy with this color. I will not be able to accept the color and I need something to be done.” He looked over at the hours of work he completed and started getting mad. His wife said, “she is paying for a new kitchen, it matters to her that she gets what she wants.” He took a deep breath and said, I will scrub out as much as I can now and then think about how to fix it and come back on Monday.
On Monday, he began using the white colored grout. But the stone absorbs a lot of the sand color. He decided to water down some white paint and roll it over the backsplash. He fixed it and it ended up being better than I could have expected. The funny thing is, when people see the new kitchen, the usual first comment is how nice the backsplash looks!
That situation seems like an easy one to speak up on, but how about those times when it isn’t easy? Like when your child is making bad decisions. Someone is being abused and they are continuing to live in that situation. You hear gossip about a person that you know isn’t true. There are times, when standing up for what you believe in is important and necessary, especially in today’s times.
Lesson Learned: In truth and love, standing up for what we believe is necessary.
“Dear Heavenly Father, give me courage and strength to speak the truth. Show me how it to be done in love and grace instead of judgement and condemnation. Forgive me of things I do that are wrong and things I am unaware. Give me the right words to say and may your justice prevail. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!”