“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2
I have been dealing with bouts of Vertigo. Vertigo can occur at anytime. I cannot plan for it. I have had to leave places because of it. It has kept me from planned events. Vertigo isolates me. It causes me to become anxious and fearful. Also, I planned our first vacation as a family. I was scared to go on an airplane because of what could happen. This caused stress and tension in my family. I did not want to go.
The day arrived to depart on our vacation. I medicated and prayed all will go well. Everything I prayed against came into fruition. The flight was delayed. When we finally took off, the flight was turbulent the entire trip, the flight attendants were grouchy, I was next to a baby, we had to circle about 10 minutes because there was a back up into the airport we were landing at and I was feeling motion sick and my ears were plugged up. Then it poured rain the hour and half drive to where we needed to be. Some of the roads were under construction which made for some off road driving. I wanted to transport myself back to my bed back home. These events set the tone for the next few days.
My thoughts spun out of control. The “what if” questions spilled from my mind out of my mouth. I proclaimed every negative outcome. I couldn’t even pray. My symptoms got worse, I had a bad bout of Vertigo during the middle of the night. (Imagine you are sleep and then you wake up thinking you are spinning like a log and about to upchuck your last week’s worth of meals. Pretty picture, isn’t it?) I decided to go to urgent care and get some answers. The doctor checks my ears and says, they both look great, the Vertigo came on because of your allergies and the plane flight. Try to enjoy the rest of your trip. I felt some relief. On the drive back to where we were staying, I heard Mercy Me’s song, “Move”.
“This hurt is getting heavy
But I’m not about to cave
Everything’s about to change
There’s gonna be brighter days
I just might bend but won’t break
As long as I can see your face”
At that point, I decided, I needed to dwell in God’s promises. I am going to enjoy the heck out of the last few days of this trip. I know the enemy takes the things we fear the most and makes them seem catastrophic. We have to pray for endurance and guidance during tough times. When we ask, “why me?”, all it does is make things worse. We learn the most out of life and what God wants of us during trials. No one wants to endure them, but out of all of it comes a message to share. I began to be grateful and thankful for all the beautiful things we saw and experienced on the trip. I smelled the clean air, viewed the beautiful landscapes that God created. I was thankful my husband and child were healthy and happy despite me being sour. The flight home was tolerable and did not have one anxious moment. Focus on Him and everything in this dizzying life is stable and steady.
“Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for carrying me through the tough times. Guard my body, mind and heart from the arrows of the enemy. I place the full armor of God as protection. Remind me of your promises in your word. Strengthen me and keep me in your arms. Thank you for fighting for me and giving me victory. In Jesus’ Name. AMEN!”