“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.” I Corinthians 13:4-8
Those bible verses are spoken at most weddings. It was spoken at mine. I have been guilty of doing the opposite of what these verses are teaching us to do. At the beginning of my marriage, I received and bought the books about praying for your spouse and having a Godly marriage. I tried to be that good little wife that all the Christian wives aspire to be. A lot of the times, I just couldn’t muster the strength to work towards a solid marriage. My marriage wasn’t bad or dramatic, it just wasn’t what I had envisioned it to be. I was too busy trying to fix myself that I zoned out on my relationship with my husband. Then you add a child and more of life’s stress, you feel like roommates instead of soul mates.
My educator husband was trying to transfer to another school for several years. He finally was given an opportunity to go to another school. He began a new chapter in his teaching career. He was nervous and excited. I always prayed for his career. I never had a problem remembering to do that. I prayed for his protection and giving him stamina and patience over the entire school year and favor with the administration. At this time, we had celebrated 11 years of marriage. I honestly felt like I didn’t like him anymore. I was too tired to even want to make things better. When his new school year started, I prayed my usual prayer of “hope he has a great school year”. I asked the Lord, what else did He want me to pray for. I felt a prompting from the Lord to pray for my marriage. I began to prayed for the following things: I would fall in love again with my husband, I would see all that I take for granted of what he does for me and our child and what a great man he really is. God answered that prayer rather quickly.
In that same year, our child started at the same school for Kindergarten. I took the opportunity to volunteer in the classroom. I saw what a teacher goes through nowadays. I was exhausted with all that has to be accomplished and taken care of in one day. I got a glimpse of what my husband goes through and he teaches middle school math. Double yikes! No wonder why he would come home and not want to talk and just fall asleep. Also, I had many different staff members in the school tell me how much they appreciate my husband and all he does for the school. I would have parents tell me either their child now likes math because of him or he was their child’s favorite teacher. The compliments for him were abundant. It opened my eyes to what I had all along. So when he came home that day, I couldn’t wait to see him and I hugged him wouldn’t let go of him when he walked in the door. He thought something was wrong with me. I told him, I loved and appreciated everything he did. In his usually dry humor he said, “well it is about time you noticed.”
If you have a relationship that has solvable issues, please pray for them. Don’t ever give up on something you know God has promised you. God wants our relationships to thrive and be beautiful.
“Dear Heavenly Father, I pray over any relationship I have that is currently under distress. I pray that you reveal what I may be doing to contribute to the mess and how I can change. Show me the way you want me to see them. Eliminate distractions and help me to focus on what is necessary. Let me see all the good they possess and how we can work together to make things change for the better. Create an open dialogue and communication in my relationships. In Jesus’ Name. AMEN!”